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Perspective

Perspective, I soon realized, was a fine commodity, but was utterly useless when I was in the thick of things. SDPope

Emotion

Emotions are impulses to act, on the instant as a means to handle life.

The root of the word emotion is motere, the Latin verb for " to move ", plus the prefix " e " to connote " move away ", suggesting that there is the impulse to act with every emotion.

Impossible

It seems impossible to get control of the mind. Once a feeling has been placed into the thoughts, it is too late. The only thing to control after this is what to do about the feeling. That is where rational and irrational thinking comes into play. Do you ignore it and do what you think to do, or do you give in to the feelings and become its slave?

Seeing Relationships as Systems

Relationships Are Systems

The idea is that we are, how we relate, how we act is partly determined by the role we fulfill in our relationships, or systems. While we are a part of the system we are molded to fit. If we are no longer a part of the system the system continues to change, and if we tried to fit back into the system, we would no longer fit right in. By staying involved in a system, or relationship, we are constantly changing in order to remain a comfortable fit within that system.

Relationships Are Systems Implicated by 3 Simple Ideas

1.The principle of mutual responsibility
- Within a system, responsibility must be shared by everyone

2.The principle of homeostasis
- You will be resisted when you try to change the way that you relate to others

3. The principle of negotiation
- The best way to advance changes within a system is through negotiation

Negotiating is not about dividing options; it is about creating new options

• Find out what everyone wants
• Look for common ground
• Broaden the support and reasons for negotiation
• Look for opportunities to trade

Strategies for negotiation:

1. Clarify
2. Build on what the other person says
3. Do not place blame
4. Watch out for escalation
5. Bottle up the insults

SDPope

The Goal Is To Improve On Our Relationships

Key To Good Relationships

Be Fair To Yourself And To Others

A. The Framework

1. Build up your confidence and self-esteem.
2. Clarify what you want.
3. Lay claim To your rights

B. Specific Skills

1. Listen To others
2. Speak by using the unselfish word "I"
3. Stick To The important points
4. Manage criticism and complaints
5. Use your body to back yourself up
6. Say "no" with assurance